20 Years Later: How Losing My Dad Rewired My Health Journey

A single belief can hijack a lifetime. I share how my dad’s joyful push toward health ended with a cancer diagnosis—and how that shock welded fear to my own weight loss journey for twenty years. Every time I made progress, a quiet voice said, What if you’re sick too? That story drove me into avoidance, isolation, and dangerous health outcomes. Then a simple decision reframed everything: this is not my dad’s ending; this is my beginning.

You’ll hear the raw truth of grief, identity, and the stories we carry about our bodies. I walk through the spiral from active kid to a man who wore the label fat guy even when it didn’t fit, and the toll that belief took: diabetes, high cholesterol, even a heart attack. The turning point wasn’t a perfect plan—it was a first step. One step became a thousand, a thousand became a million, and now I’m nearing three million steps that feel like a conversation with my dad. Along the way, I learned that losing weight doesn’t mean losing life. It means gaining energy, hope, and the parts of yourself fear tried to hide.

We also talk about October grief, Dodgers memories, and how gratitude can soften anniversaries that used to hurt. I share practical, compassionate ways to start: lace up, step outside, loop the block, or walk your living room. Movement rewrites meaning. If you’ve ever avoided change because a painful memory fused progress to danger, this story offers a different ending—one built on steady steps, self-kindness, and community support. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a nudge, and tell me: what first step will you take today?

Chapters

• 0:03 A Loss That Shaped My Health
• 1:35 Fear Linking Weight Loss To Illness
• 3:51 Identity, Grief, And Declining Health
• 4:54 The Turning Point: First Steps
• 6:12 Choosing Gratitude Over October Grief
• 8:38 Walk Toward Freedom: An Invitation

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

On today's episode, I want to talk about something really hard. Something I experienced 20 years ago to the day. Losing a parent. And there's a big connection with my health journey and losing my dad. Losing my dad was one of the toughest things I've ever had to deal with in my life. But it not only changed me because I grew up without sharing memories with my dad that I wanted to. It changed me because my health was related to his death. And the decisions I've made up to this point were based on what happened to him and how he passed away. And I wanted to share this and be raw with you. And I might get a little emotional, so bear with me. But I hope that if you relate to this, you can see that there's a power through making it through all your fears and all those choices that you've made years ago that stopped you from doing stuff in your life. And I want to begin with two quotes today. Sometimes healing isn't about changing the past, but changing what it means to you. Welcome, my friends, to the 3 Million Step Awakening Podcast. I'm your host, Jay Medina. Today's episode is a hard one. It's emotional, and honestly, it's deeply personal. This week marks the anniversary of my dad's death. I'm actually recording this podcast on the day of. And if you're wondering why I'm bringing that up on a health and wellness podcast, it's because my health journey has always been tied to his story, to his life, and to his loss. Twenty years ago, I made a decision that shaped two decades of my life. I told myself I would never try to lose weight again. And it wasn't because I didn't care. It was because I was afraid. You see, the last time I saw someone lose a lot of weight, it was my dad. And I'll never forget that look on his face. Pure joy. Pure pride. He was working out every night, eating right, full of life. He wasn't just losing weight, he was finding himself again. And then one day, everything changed in my life. He found out he was losing weight because of cancer. The moment broke something inside of me. It planted a seed of fear that lived inside of me for 20 years. Every time I started losing weight, every time I started to feel proud of myself, a voice whispered, What if you're sick too? So I'd stop. I'd eat again. I'd gain the weight back. Because deep down I thought staying heavy meant staying safe. Safe. But not alive. Fear is a liar. It tells you to stay where you are, even when you're dying there. Growing up, I was active. I played basketball. I played tennis even in college. But no matter what I weighed, I always saw myself as the fat guy. Even when I wasn't. That story, that identity followed me everywhere. And after my dad passed away, I grew stronger. Over the years I gained more and more. 220, 240, 260, and eventually 300 pounds. And over. I developed diabetes, high cholesterol. I even had a heart attack. And all of it came from one belief. That single story cost me 20 years of health, 20 years of energy, 20 years of me. But last year everything changed. I looked in the mirror and said, This is not my dad's ending. This is my beginning. So I started walking. One step turned into a thousand. A thousand turned into a million. And now that I'm nearing the three million steps, every single one of those steps has been a conversation with my dad. A healing, a rewriting. The best way to honor someone's memory is to finish the story they couldn't. When I walk now, I feel him beside me. I feel the same joy he had when he was getting healthy. But this time it isn't taken away. This time it lives on through me. I'm no longer afraid to lose weight. Because I learned that losing weight doesn't mean losing anything. It means gaining everything back. I'm not running from something anymore. I'm walking towards something. And I know he's proud. Because I'm not just walking for me. I'm walking for him. This month used to be filled with sadness. October always hurt. Even when the Dodgers are in the World Series, and I used to watch that with my dad, it brings up so memory. Even that can't even bring me joy sometimes. Because the World Series was on. Just like the weekend he passed. But this year, I'm choosing something different. I'm choosing gratitude. Gratitude for the time I had with him. He took me to those Dodger games when I was young. He wanted me to be the happiest kid in the world, and I can never repay him for that. Gratitude for the lessons he left me. He was trying to teach me that being healthy meant you live longer. Even though he didn't get that chance. Don't let one painful moment decide your future. Don't let someone else's fate decide your freedom, your health, your happiness, your healing. They're still waiting for you. So today I walk for my dad. I walk for me and I walk for you. For anyone who's been holding back because of fear. Take that first step. Rewrite your story. Walk toward your freedom. Because your past may have shaped you, but it does not have to define you. At any moment, you can awaken and begin again. Before I go today, my friends, I want to leave you with this. If this message connected with you, if you've been holding on to a story that's kept you from moving forward, start walking with me. Go outside today. Put your shoes on. Take that first step, whether it's around your block, your neighborhood, or even in your living room. Because that one step is the beginning of rewriting your story. And if you're ready to walk beside me on this journey, join my 3 million step awakening community. Share your progress. Share your story. Because together we can heal through movement. One step, one day, one choice at a time. Let's walk to those we lost. Let's walk to those who inspired us. But most importantly, let's walk for ourselves. This has been the 3 million step awakening podcast. Thank you for walking this journey with me, my friend. Until next time, my friend, keep walking forward for your life, for your health, and for the ones who believed in you before you believed in yourself. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. And for letting me be brutally honest with you. Your support means the world to me.